This is a little of topic but it is something that I have been pondering for a while now and with the toddler napping and while the house is relatively peaceful, I thought it would be the perfect time to get this down on the blog.
It was my husband’s 40th birthday last week and if you follow me on Instagram you will have seen that we celebrated in Las Vegas. Whilst we were there we saw all sorts of people, doing ALL SORTS of things! – I guess that this would be true of any city but it seemed pretty pertinent this time around. Whether it was because I was watching my husband hit a milestone or because I was taking a break from my regular routine I don’t know, but something struck a chord with me.
(Of course it could also have been the Margaritas I was drinking whilst people watching!)
I have always been self conscious and a HUGE critic of myself – Good God if you knew how long it took me to start this blog!!
I thought people would think I was a sad old cow for writing about housekeeping.
You ask my husband! There was plenty of handwringing going on before I hit the publish button on the website!
“What if they don’t like me?”
“What if everyone thinks that the blog is some sort of stealth boast?”
“What if everyone hates it and I fall flat on my face?”
“What if…?” “What if…?” “What if…?”
His response… “Do you WANT to do it?” …. My answer was of course yes. He is wise … did I mention he is 40 now?
(That wisdom must come with the FOUR extra years he has on me!!)
I obviously started the blog (duh!) and most people have been positive, which has both cheered and shocked me in equal measure (I’d say 99% have been amazing – one person has brought me to tears but I have made my peace with the fact that not everyone gets the fact that you can still be a feminist and have a clean house!)
So what was the realisation that I had in Vegas? (of ALL the places to have a revelation about self esteem who would have thought I would have had it in Vegas!!)
Well it was this:
How awful would it be to look back on my life and realise that I hadn’t lived it the way I wanted to … to realise I had lived an edited version, out of fear of what others would think.
… it all got a bit deep there! Shall we talk about Zoflora or something, to lighten the mood??
You know what else I learnt? Many of us are so wrapped up in our own lives and problems that we very rarely have the time or energy to waste criticising others . In Vegas I walked passed a half naked Elvis and a pensioner in a thong playing his guitar for god’s sake! They were happy, they weren’t harming anyone and no one cared, everyone just got on with their day.
So if you are ever feeling a little self conscious – whether it is at the school gates or in the gym then take heart … most people haven’t got it all figured out either, we are all winging it.
And for those times when you do feel judged well my ever wise husband has an answer for that too:
And if you still feel a bit wobbly then it could be worse … you haven’t just split your leggings whilst you are doing dead lifts at the gym (yup this happened to me!) … and if you need further anecdotes to make you feel better … I have also fallen off the spin bike (didn’t tighten the seat properly) and also very nearly did myself a serious mischief whilst trying to do a HIIT session on running machine (one leg went one way and the other leg went the other!!)
So there you go…
My name is Gemma I love a clean house, anything food related, have a slight scented candle obsession and I am a clumsy oaf. All part of my charm !!!
I will leave you with this little gem as proof that perfect is boring… he gets his grace from me (clearly!)